Friday 21 May 2010

Learn about your fiendish neighbourhood PIGEON

Follow the link and download it today!

http://www.mediafire.com/?nnyzjnllnqz

Warning: contains moderate violence and EXTREME PIGEON nudity.

Sunday 9 May 2010

That's my sunday afternoon

Before I get into the main body of this post, on sunday morning at 2am I was walking home and I was walking along this massive private avenue with private security guards and 2 armed police cars. There was noone else walking on the road and the avenue was lined with castles and mansions. I checked out the road the next day and this is what I found:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kensington_Palace_Gardens

Yes, none other than billionaire row - which most people have never heard of - certainly keeping that one under the rug.

You may be wondering as to the posts title. Well I got a bit bored this friday, and after speaking to my friend Muhammad, whom I had not spoken to in a while he informed me he was on chatroulette, but not using it in a conventional way. Essentially he was showing his webcam but it depicted a womans reaction from the notorious viral 2girls1cup. To properly understand, watch below.

Thus I decided to join him and after about 2hours worth of installing programmes and making them work here I am with the final product.

Click and watch.



I have to admit the blogcam is tiny and you don't get the same effect as doing it there and then.

Manycam http://download.manycam.com/
Hypercam2 http://www.hyperionics.com/hc/downloads.asp
Youtube converter http://www.xilisoft.com/youtube-video-converter.html

Wednesday 7 April 2010

Shutter Island.

This evening, myself, my brother, Fgreal (Mcgreal+Fiona) and Anga (Jimmy+Anna) had planned on seeing clash of the titans at 20:20. However, due to it being orange wednesday and a massive queue by the time we arrived at the ticket booth the only tickets left were those for Shutter Island.

We watched the film and were non-plussed by the storyline *spoiler* which entailed Leonardo Dicaprio portrayed as a Marshal whom was looking into the disappearance of one of the mental patients on the island. After a long winded story you find out he is infact insane and has made up the story and it finishes with an open ending that is rather frustrating *end spoiler*.

Fortunately this is not the reason that I am writing this blog. The real reason is the rapid fire event that happened after.

We had noticed that some chav kids (about 15 years of age) were stealing sweets from the dispensers at the cinema, due to lack of security personnel or cinema staff (whatever you want to call them). After a bit of grumbling on our part (between ourselves) we noticed that they were going back for more.

To my shock Mcgreal shot over to them like lightning, pushed one of the little thieves and said "Oi fuck face". The room had gone silent. The kid was rather shocked by the challenge and followed this up with a few expletives and the typical chav lingo of, "You startin' mate" on Jimmy whom had followed. Jimmy replied with a quick, "It wasn't me" while inclining towards Mcgreal whom looked ready to beat the shit out of them.

Fiona, whom clearly did not want to be left out jumped in on this, "Put them back or I'm getting security". Now add an angry expression to her face, a shaking fist and a loud voice and they quickly started backing away.

She pressed the advantage with a firm "FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!" and left to get security. Needless to say Anna and myself were cracking up with laughter (after they had gone).

I have to say that this event brought a high note to what was otherwise a letdown of a film.

Sunday 4 April 2010

Blues Brothers

As part of my halls end of term party, there was a 70s-80s themed fancy dress with karaoke. Needless to say I planned on going - free booze and drink - what's not to like in that combination?

However I did not know what to dress as - this is where the genius idea of my room mate Alex came in to go dressed as the Blues Brothers - Elwood and Jake. Thus we suited up, acquired a pair of trilbeys and sunglasses (which I borrowed from my xmas arab outfit). Here is the product of that:

Our outfit was greeted with much applause (win!) and we want onto perform everybody needs somebody which is on video. I even ended up giving one of the wardens a crash history course in the Blues Brothers as he was clearly clueless about them; claiming they were a 50s band! (This after I had educated myself on them only the night before). We subsequently decided that only one punishment was due him: tied to a chair and forced to watch the Blues Brothers on repeat for an entire weekend with matchsticks to hold his eyes open!

Thursday 11 March 2010

How the dinosaurs really died...

Requested by Ricky. Yes I realise my paint skills are quite amazing. Here is my theory on what caused the K-T mass extinction - Aliens! As you can see the catalyst cannon fired and resulted in a chain reaction that disrupted the lava plugs in volcanoes, thus causing them to erupt around the world - it could even be true!

Monday 8 March 2010

Movie Night or what?

This is the story of what was meant to be a simple movie night where the plan was to watch Gladiator - something that was clearly not meant to be simple in any way yet still turned out...interesting.

Off I went to Wilson house at around 7pm (left 1h late) and walked across Hyde Park in the dark - before it was closed - dangerous to go in after it closes (lots of gays, weirdos and rapists: not fun). When I finally arrived at around 8 on what seemed like a very long trek and a few askings of random people in the streets for directions, I let myself in only to find I was infact, late, but not the latest so it's all good.

The initial plan was to watch the film there and then but unfortunately the TV room was full thus we decided dinner was clearly the wiser and tastier option. This included noodles cooked by Matt, some really good rice-meat mixture by Soo and something else that evades my memory by Rodrigo (he also made a banana cake). While this was going on I was having a tour of what can only be called a Warren due to the complicatedness of its corridors, outdoors-parts, stairs and numerous doors. During the tour I was introduced to the game ping pong cricket by Lucy who arguably throws in a very scary way (i.e. fast and straight)! Having played a game of that we settled for dinner which was followed by some Pimms, WKD and Port.

Ofcourse, the people downstairs were still busy watching a film so we decided to go back to the Ping-Pong room and have some play offs. This would have been fine were it not for the fact that 1) it was 1am and 2)we had discovered some bins that were used to hold the balls and decided to use them as drums. As you may well have guessed, someone heard and came in to give us a piece of his mind: "Will you shut the F*** up!!!". Personally I found this quite funny but we decided to vacate to the games room where we found a Gamecube and... Super Smash Bros!!! This we played for until the owners came back, packed it up and went to bed - no fair!

At this point we considered watching Gladiator on a laptop but to our great luck the TV room was finally open - at 2am or something. As you can imagine the film watching commensed in earnest and the film finished at 4ish (yes it was awesome). As getting back to my halls would've taken about 2hours to walk I decided to wait until the tube station opened at 5am to catch one back...however the tube I was going to catch was cancelled due to 'work for the Olympics'. This meant I had to catch a different tube that was across the road *phew* down to Piccadily Circus before catching the Piccadily line down to Gloucester Road. On exiting the station I saw a rather dodgy scene at around 6am: a very drunk girl with a friend (not sure as to the sex) who were being followed by a 30-40+ arab looking man who was calling after them. Talk about a stalker. When I had passed them and looked back this man was actually right up and gropeing her - I guess this is why you hear creepy stories.

The final part of the story was when I reached my halls at 6:30 and came to the horrible, tiring conclusion that I could not infact sleep due to Paintball...at 7am!

Thursday 4 March 2010

Weekend at Bath

As you may have read from Jamie's blog I went to Bath last weekend for what in no small terms can only be considered an epic weekend. It started with a brief trip on the tube, then a hop onto a train at Paddington to Bath Spa.

The first night we met up with Fiona and Mcgreal in the kitchen where we had a conversation on the awesomeness of the Command & Conquer series which went from the beginning of the Tiberium Saga to the Red Alert Saga and our disapproval for Generals Saga. This detailed the different units available for use and the plotlines behind them; culminating in the watching (on youtube) of what is undoubtedly a childhood memory we have never forgotten: the Hell March. This inevitably followed with further game theme tunes such as the well known and much loved Zelda theme.

The aim (initially) of this was to play Brawl (before we got slightly side tracked), this was basically a one sided game of me getting thrashed by Jamie at least 10 times (sadface) by many different Nintendo characters on his Wii.

The next day will forever be an undying memory especially as it had actually started 2 days before on thursday when I called Jamie asking what was happening and confirming train times. The conversation was similar to this:

Me: So, what are we doing this weekend?
Jamie: I hope you don't mind but I bought you a ticket to a Juggling Convention!
Me:Uhhm ok sounds fun (Let's say I didn't know what to expect)

Thus, we left for this big hall with a high ceiling (yes, a sports hall!), let ourselves in and were greeted with the early morning jugglers who had already arrived. I was amazed to see someone juggling 7 balls at once, clubs, spinning hoops, unicycling. As I had no skill in any of these domains I was initially quite lost, however, I thought: well might as well try something.

I turned to Jamie then and asked him to teach me to juggle 3 balls, as I had been trying to master if for a long time and not succeeding at all. After a brief 30minute lesson I actually understood the basics of how to do it (at long last) and headed off for a 3ball workshop with Sam 'Mario' from GV64. An hour later I was actually managing to do 4 throws in succession - no doubt that the people from GV are very friendly and helpful people (and juggling people in general).

Later that day there was a unicycle gladiator event of which Jamie took part. It was actually quite a vicious sport with people getting pushed off their unicycles and falling to the floor. Anyway it seemed that people quickly realised that Jamie had a lot of skill because after he was attacked by 2 people (without falling off) the onslaught happened again and again without a fall. However what really made it a laugh was the look on his face; one of fear as he desperately tried to pedal away faster from someone else who was equally good (and who won the event). Jamie's undoing came when he tried to turn a corner too quickly and the unicycle collapsed; throwing Jamie from the competition. This said I have to say this was a highly entertaining event to watch (oh and the occassional children who thought it was a clever idea to run in front of people whacking balls with clubs).

That night I saw the evening entertainment which was presented by an amusing compere (is that spelt correctly?). There were 6 acts varying from hoop spinning, clubs, dropped clubs, diablos and finally Charlie and Haggis (whom I knew nothing of until I saw them perform). Watching them made the £4 ticket look like a bargain as they juggled 7 clubs with a highly amusing speel (see Jamie's blog for video) which terminated with the use of a 12 FOOT WHIP. Now this may not sound all that much but when you're basically aiming it at someone else everything changes; especially when that piece of paper is only a foot wide.

Fortunately Haggis was allowed to keep all his limbs and fingers and face. The event ended at around 10, at which point Jamie and I decided to go back to his halls for some dinner with a bottle of wine (or 2).

Having seen his previous post where he downed a bottle of wine with his house mate Oli, I wanted to take him up on that challenge - even though we had already downed a pint before (at Anna's birthday if I recall correctly) and lost - I knew what I was up against. It seemed to start quite well only once it got to half way JAMIE had finished...(http://www.opaquelucidity.com/facepalm.jpg)...watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe0SmEnr0CA

Needless to say it was an easy win for him. We decided that we needed to prepare dinner before the wines effects actually started to hit and metabolising alcohol commenced. What ensued was a mad rush to cook dinner as quickly as possible with help from a house mate who had some spare rice from when the chinese people invaded the kitchen for an hour and took over all the cooking space. The rice was eaten with some strips of bacon which went down a treat albeit quite slowly.

Fiona arrived then after what seemed like forever (drunkenness does strange things to time) and we decided to go to Parade which was closed (fortunately as I had since consumed a further point of cidre). Fiona then decided to go and get her apple tini supplies (well not really because she had no apple juice) but did not want to go and therefore delegated the task to Jamie who ran off to get it while we walked back to Eastwood 4 kitchen.

(Gap followed by sleep).

I have to conclude that that weekend was one of the best and most enjoyable I've had in a while and I may even take up juggling (need some juggling balls first) although I am unsure if such a society exists at Imperial.

Saturday 20 February 2010

Chemistry.

I alluded to this earlier - A funny lecture I had today - here is one of things (besides our lecturer admitting he was a morphine addict and his experience with the stuff):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arsole

Yes it's a molecule of Arsole!

The Great Chair Expedition

On thursday after a gruelling session of Wing Chun (not well known martial arts - i know what you're thinking - what is wing chun????). The reason you may wonder to the gruelling session was down to the presence of what I initially assumed was merely a cleaner (this is why you should never assume anything). He strolled in and after making a quick study of our humble group of 7 cried out, "Hit like you're trying to punch through someone". At this pointhe demanded we did 10 sets of 10 side punches (fun fun). This went on for an hour and a half; I believe a simple equation can be dervied to best show this:

ME + Scary, loud instructor from UCL branch => time => Tired

However, he was in fact an excellent teacher and I learnt much from him so it didn't come without its perks.

Anyway I'm slightly off subject from what I was actually going to blog about. While the title gives you a clue it does not fully coherently and competently explain the events of Wednesday the 17th February 2010. It began after I had left my wing chun lesson and was heading back to halls when I bumped into my friend Tim who had somehow managed to get himself 2 office chairs off freecycle (coupled with the one from the previous night). He was having problems calling the owner who was a Jennifer from 13 George Street in Central London. After a further 15minutes he finally managed to contact her and we set off in search of the office chairs - my reward would be an office chair which I must admit is very comfortable and is now firmly ensconed in my room.

Off we went, across the harrowing length of Hyde Park and what has been the warmest day of the winter - warm, sunny, lovely. On reaching Hyde Park corner I finally saw Marble Arch and was promptly disappointed on its dimunitive size (it's a poor imitation of l'Arc de Triomphe in Paris). Needless to say I did not stop for a photo. Onwards we trekked, Tim and I, across the masses of Oxford Street and a very heat inefficient Primemark which was leaking so much heat that 5 metres from the door you would get gusts of it. Not that I'm complaining, it was great to be blasted by desert heat in the dark cliffs of the towering buildings. A few twists and turns later we arrived at 13 George Street.

What we found thoroughly confused, for on the door was a plaque with "International Bank of Kuwait" inscribed on it. As we had come this far we decided we would just go in and ask. The receptionist informed us that we were indeed at the right place and we should pass through a side door.

On entering we met Jennifer, she showed us to the swively chairs which were quite awesome in their bright blue resplendence. Now came what I can only describe as one of the longest walks of my life. Yes that's right, we walked all the way from Marble Arch to Fulham; a journey of 2 hours with rather heavy chairs. I have since been called mad for not taking the tube or a bus and sitting on it comically with my chair. However, what we actually did, in my opinion was far more enjoyable and...amusing.

Walking along Oxford Street with a pair of fully assembled office chairs in our arms (and on Tim's head) drew many a stare and glance from curious passers by and workers. At Marble Arch we entered the park and stopped at one of the crossroads. From here we made a 360 degree video as well as a few random pictures of Office Chairs out-of-place. (I don't have the pictures or I would upload them.)

As we had decided to give the bus a miss our next port of call was the Serpentine (more staring). To get down to the Serpentine (a lake) there was a slight inclination and thus we decided to wheel down on the chairs (which failed epically was these chairs are incapable of going in a straight line - as demonstrated on Brainiac with the many attempts to make one move with CO2 tanks). On arrival at the Serpentine we discovered an ice cream stool (it was that warm) and both purchased twisters (which I believe had shrunk since I last ate one). The weird thing was, the chairs appeared to become invisible once you sat down on one next to another - people must've assumed they were modified benchers for they went from staring to ignoring. Most strange. We did loiter long after that for night was coming inevitably and proceeded up towards the bridge where I heard a car pull up behind me...

...Only to see it was a police man who was looking at us as if we had stolen these chairs. Thus ensued the following rather bizarre conversation:
"Where did you get those?"
"Freecycle, you heard of it?"
"Oh yeah, I have an account"
"We're not thieves by the way"
"Yeah if you were you would have run already"
"Oh, we're only half way home"
"Good luck getting back, off you go lads"

An hour later we had finally gotten back to halls and my arms felt like they were going to fall off. After thanking Tim for the free chair (and aching arms) I took my prize to my room where I showed it off to my stunned room mate pridefully.

It was prooved very useful for playing McGreal's Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars which is a brilliant game - especially when you take control of the Scrin (Alien) Fleet - enter motherships with independence day style weapons; shielded space craft and giant shielded tripod walkers as well as the Rift Superweapon - it opens a wormhole to deep space which sucks in everything that is close to it. A truly nasty weapon. And on that cheery note I shall end this blog.

Monday 18 January 2010

A few Anecdotes

As I have not posted much in a while I believe it is time that I added something to my blog.

On my trip back from Paddington Station (at the end of Christmas holiday) I thought that there would be no hitches on my journey back to halls and expected to be in after about 40minutes of arriving. Little was I to know what surprise awaited me at the tube station - after passing through the magnetic card machines (they beep your oyster card) I was greeted with the tube tunnnel that led directly back to my halls closed off to passengers. Rather annoyed at this I went up to the map and after a quick study determined that I only had one other choice (besides a 2hour trek); to take the Bakerloo line down to Piccadily and then hop on a Piccadilyline train to Gloucester Road. Now to those who have never been in London or taken the tube regularly enough to know its ins and outs this turned a relatively short commute into a rather drawn out one. (purple=way I had to go; black = fast way)While I was on this gloriously efficient transport, I noticed 2 germans with stereotypical blond hair and slicked back hair with expensive looking jackets - I wondered at what they were doing dressed like that.

My second event happened yesterday in a friend of mines kitchen; there were 5 of us and we were going to tuck into some banana splits, which as I'm sure you'll agree sounds delicious (and believe me it was!). Before this though my friend Sarah was cooking some food for her lunch tomorrow and had placed it in a tupperware container - unfortunately she would never eat this meal as she unwittingly placed it upon the hob - the hob which was still red hot. I had not noticed any of this, in fact it was only when I turned my head in curiosity towards the chocolate which was being melted on the stove that I noticed this deformed looking tupperware which had melted and become a part of the hob. Needless to say I sounded the alarm and the molten tupperware was quickly removed, only for its contents to spill out of the hole in the bottom where it had melted through.

And that is how you make plastic-vegetable lunch.

Today I discovered that even people who consider themselves to have grown up are actually still children at heart - I discovered this in the bowels of the Natural History Museum in the dinosaur tourist shop where my two friends Josh and Matt picked up a toy T-rex model and a hand puppet T-rex and went about recreating a scene from the Cretaceous period (with audio)! I was also shocked to find out that the section containing the model of the blue whale was closed off for refurbishment and cursed the museum for ruining my viewing experience!!!

On a final note I have yet another NEW neighbour - a friendly chinese emo who has - you guessed it - had to move out due to her ceiling collapsing (big surprise) and who is kindly obeying the rule of 3 (there have never been more than 3 people living on this floor although the capacity is 4!)